Thanks Donny

I’d like to take a moment, now that we’re a couple solid weeks into the Trump shit-show presidency, to express my gratitude to Mr. Trump.

You see, back in my school years I’d always taken my teachers at their word when they told the class how good we had it here in the grand old U S of A. I never actually thought much about what that meant until I was older and had a little life experience under my belt. But now that we’ve got our very own brand of fascism growing right here at home – like a black mold infestation you didn’t know about until it clogged your pipes and started crawling out of your sink and up your walls – I’m really beginning to understand what they meant.

So I’d like to thank Mr. Trump and his cronies/string pullers (ahem, Bannon) for taking the time out of their very busy schedules (presumably where they sit around in the most thickly-moneyed, racist, angry old white man circle jerk to ever grace the planet) to show me what it’s like to watch everything your country was supposed to stand for get squeegeed away like the leavings of their aforementioned “self congratulation parties.”

Thanks for making it so clear to me that no rules or decorum, nor iota of decency or moral compass, or even the tiniest mote of empathetic feeling, makes any difference in how this nation is run so long as the people in charge fucking get their dollar bills yo.

Thanks for making it crystal clear, with your Goldman Sachs appointees and your Dodd Frank neutering executive orders, exactly what and who matters to you.

Thanks for putting your bigotry and racism on full display with your inanely constructed attempt at banning Muslims from entering the country, unless of course they’re from nations where you have business dealings. See above point. Money before bigotry, I guess.

Thanks for all your stupid tweets, may they live forever. I really fucking hope someone is taking them all down for the eventual annotated history of your flawed presidency, that way when future generations look at what you did they can read your insane ramblings along with it to better gauge the full scope of your psychosis. I wonder if any text books will be written about your particular brand of mental illness? (Get help. Seriously.)

Finally, thanks for showing America who we really are. Despite all your egotistical lies, your pandering to foreign adversaries, your complete and total lack of comprehension of what it means to be an american citizen, you’ve brought people together in marches and protests against your dumb ass in a way that is unheard of for a new president. You’re really winning at being the least popular ever!  Good job on that.




I’m going to go into the nitty gritty a little bit on this one, because the information is pertinent and bears explaining. Many people in the country don’t understand how the Electoral College actually works, which is amazing to me because we go over this shit every four years.

First, the states of Nebraska and Maine will be exempt from the rest of this because they apportion their electoral votes to each candidate proportionally. The remaining 48 states are winner take all states. What that means is that the winner of the vote in any other given state traditionally gets all of that state’s electoral votes. Now, if you’re reading between the lines, you’ll realize that this system essentially ignores the minority vote in these states for the election of the president.

I see you shaking your head. Stop it. Listen. Both parties have a set number of electors in each state. Here in Arizona each party has 11. Donald Trump won Arizona, so the 11 Republican electors get to vote for president. The 11 Democratic ones get to sit on their thumbs. Now, in Arizona Donald Trump won by about 3.6% (let that sink in – in fucking open carry, gun show every weekend, cowboy ass Arizona, he only won by 3.6%).

Let’s break it down into real numbers though, as it will illustrate my point better. Trump had 1,252,401 votes here. Clinton had 1,161,167. A difference of about 91,000 votes. The million plus people who voted for Clinton? They get no representation in the election of the President of the United States because all 11 of Arizona’s electors are given to the Republican candidate (this year, as with most, because Arizona). Mind you, we’re not voting for President of Arizona, we’re voting for a national position here. But those votes are essentially tossed aside because they aren’t the majority in their state.

This happens in 48 of 50 states.

This is how you end up with generations of disillusioned citizens who feel like their voice is never heard and never matters. And frankly, it’s tough to blame them. They’re voting for the leader of the nation but their vote never leaves the confines of their own state. This is how you end up with a candidate winning the popular vote by 2,700,000 votes across the country and still taking a shellacking in the Electoral College.

Fun fact, if you take all the minority votes from each state and add them up it comes out to 53,880,318 votes, from both parties combined, that bear no effect on the winner of the national election. No other nation uses this arcane and unintuitive method of selecting their leader.

My red friends like to think I’m against the Electoral College because Hillary lost. And you know, I’m upset that we elected an idiot. A narcissist. A bigot. A liar and a thief. A man whose own corruption far exceeds anything we’ve seen in a president ever before. But no, I’ve held this opinion since I first learned about winner take all laws and how they warp the purpose of the Electoral College.

Personally, I do believe a national popular vote would be best. But failing that, proportional distribution of electoral votes would be better and more representative of the current citizenry.

53,880,318 votes will not be represented when the electors convene to vote for the next President of the United States. The system is broken and it needs an overhaul.

Inspired by this article. It can be a little tough to parse, but is definitely worth the read.

Current popular vote data taken from here.